Latching and Screaming

Everyday I look at my closet and think how will I get my boobs out of this outfit? Do I enjoy flashing random strangers? No. Do I occasionally? Yes. As a breastfeeding mama you run into all sorts of crazy dilemmas. It can be all consuming, but only in the best possible way.

I'm the proud owner of an eight month old boob man. One latch, and he was hooked. At first it was fine, and then it got painful. Make that very painful. Day three I thought about giving up. He nursed constantly. He'd latch on, and I'd scream like a wildebeest. Everyone made it sound so natural and effortless. I felt like I'd been tricked, like I was some wide eyed animal lured into a big metal trap for a little tiny carrot. How is this easy?!

And suddenly, it started getting better (thank you lanolin)! He got better at nursing, and would fill his belly faster. I began to admire myself. Oliver relied solely on me for food, and I loved that. Despite several attempts, he never took a pacifier. Anytime and every time he wanted to nurse, he did.

Hungry? Boob.

Tired? Boob.

Hurt? Boob.

Boobs make parenting easy. No bottles to wash, or lug around in a baby bag. It's basically free which is always good. You're boobs are always with you so, unlike diapers, you can't forget them. Sometimes I wonder how moms who don't breastfeed do it. Breastfeeding is perfect for the perfect moms, and for the lazy, forgetful ones (that would include myself).

The bond you create from the constant contact is insane. The first time my husband and I went on a date sans baby I sobbed as if my cat had died. The thought of someone else feeding him made me feel so distant. It was the first time as a parent I felt the feeling of letting him go. It was painful, and traumatic. It was the first time I realized that Oliver wasn't the only one hooked. We both survived, obviously, and I savored our next feeding like it was my last supper.

So for the mamas out there who want to throw in the proverbial breastfeeding towel, I say, “Wait just a minute missy!” Wear that sopping wet shirt with pride. Whip out that nursing cover-up like a pistol in a duel, and remember you're giving your baby the “breast” possible start in life.